Pam's Story  ::  Rob & Teresa  ::  Craig & Laura's Story  ::  Lisa's Story  ::  Nancy's Story  ::  Virginia's Story  ::  Maria's Story and Dolly's Story  ::  Sharon's Story

Pam's Story

Dear Friend of Support Connection,

Pam Tole and her husband Jim.

It is very appropriate that I am writing this letter around Thanksgiving, because I have a lot to be thankful for, and Support Connection is truly near the top of that list. Because of the support and the hope that I’ve found from this organization, my husband and I are working on our dream of becoming parents by adopting a child – something that I didn’t dare hope for a few years ago.

When the doctor told me I had a malignant tumor in my breast, I thought I was going to suffer and struggle for five years or so and then die…like everyone else I had known who had cancer. My own mother had died from colon cancer not even a year before. The shock and despair was so intense it was almost surreal. When I woke up each morning, it took a few moments to realize it wasn’t a dream. The panic and fear crashed over me as fresh as the moment I first got the news. I was under 40 and my husband and I were about to start a family. Now, the option of getting pregnant was taken away from me. Another blow that broke my heart.

My big sister had taken care of me my whole life and this time was no different. It was she who found out about Support Connection and actually called them first to find out what they offered and how they could help me. She encouraged me to pick up the phone. When I did, I heard these comforting words: “Hello, my name is Dolly, and I’m a 7 year survivor.” Immediately I felt a calmness spread over me.

I have always been a very private person. Some describe me as introverted and quiet. I didn’t tell a lot of people I had cancer. But one thing having cancer did for me was make me reach out and accept the help, support and caring that others did offer. That call to Support Connection was the first step. Next, I attended a meeting at Support Connection, and the counselor explained things that the doctor didn’t. Clear margins… protocols…. lymph nodes and what they did. I left with pages of notes, but more importantly, before I left, she gave me a hug. That first hug was the beginning, and symbolic of how the people at Support Connection have cared for me ever since.

Soon after my first call to Support Connection, they started a “Young Women’s Support Group” for women diagnosed under 40. We had different issues from our counterparts who were diagnosed at an older age. I remember sitting with these women, most of us wearing hats and bandanas because we were in the midst of chemotherapy. We talked about our tumors, our surgeries, our treatments, our side effects, our anxieties, our families. Every fear was met with concern and understanding, suggestions and resources. The women who had later stage cancer and more difficult challenges inspired me - I figured if they were doing okay, then there was hope for me. This group grew into what is now known as the “Tuesday Night Girls.”

I am closer to these women than I can ever be with anybody else – they understand me like no one else can.

Although sometimes it seems as if I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, I’m now about 3 years past the end of my treatment. Support Connection is the place I can walk into anytime and be met with genuine smiles and people glad to see me. Support Connection has provided me with so many valuable services and programs – yoga and nutrition classes, art workshops, informative lectures, individual support, my group - and most importantly, people I cherish, people who have given me hope. And because of this hope, my husband and I are now searching for that child who will make our dreams come true.
One thing is certain: I am not alone. The number of women surviving breast and ovarian cancer grows larger every day, and it is your ongoing financial support that enables Support Connection to continue
helping all of us. I raise money with my Walk team each year, and am proud to know that the funds go directly into programs and services. We all believe in the need to raise funds to find a cure…. At the same time, though, it’s extremely important to remember to provide financial support to this unique organization called Support Connection that gives strength and hope to the increasing numbers of cancer survivors like me.

As another holiday season approaches, I ask you to please consider making a donation to Support Connection. An envelope is enclosed for your convenience, or you can donate online at www.supportconnection.org. Your contribution will make a real difference in many lives, today and going forward. I thank you for your generosity and support.

Sincerely,
Pam Tole

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Rob and Teresa's Story

I feel privileged that such a wonderful group of people has given me this opportunity to commemorate Mother's Day by writing a letter in honor of my mother, Teresa. Support Connection helped my mom and me through some very rough times. It's hard to know where to begin, or how to put into words what we went through. It brings back a lot of difficult memories. But at the same time, because of the help we received from Support Connection, the story also brings a lot of hope and insight, and I'm glad for the chance to share it with you.

I'll never forget the day my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. You think this kind of thing can't happen to a loved one. I know I did. Getting hit with the truth hurts. Nothing seems to matter anymore, you feel numb to the world. You lose your appetite, lose your sense of humor, the sun doesn't shine, you don't even want to pick up the phone and talk to your friends. It is a terrifying feeling when it is your own mother who is faced with this. I remember spending time with my mom, taking her to all her doctor's appointments. As scared as we both were, I remember her telling me about a group she was talking with called "Support Connection". She spoke very highly of the people there and the support they gave her. She talked on the phone to the peer counselors, and joined a weekly support group with other women who had been through what she was going through. I could see what a difference this made to her. There were days when mom would call to say she was "having a bad day". I wanted to help but I didn't know how. I wasn't doing so well with it myself. I always told her to call Support Connection. When I heard back from her, she sounded like a new person. In turn, it made me feel so much better to hear some relief in her voice. As time went on, through all the doctors appointments, the tests, the surgeries, and everything, Support Connection was always there for mom....always.

After a while, mom was often in better spirits than me. She gave me advice on how to handle the pain and anxiety. She said she had "a whole new outlook on life". I'll never forget those words. Something had clicked. This support group she was a part of, and everyone at Support Connection, had such a positive impact on her life that she was actually helping me through it all, whether she realized it or not. As crazy as it sounds, my whole attitude toward life changed. It's because I saw the changes in my mom's eyes and spirit. It is truly a miracle how certain people can take you out of a mud bog, filled with dead trees and nipping bugs, and lead you to a sun-filled field, full of flowers, laughter, positive thoughts, hope and love. This is what Support Connection did for my mom, and seeing her feel better had the same effect on me.

If it weren't for Support Connection, who knows where my mom and I would be now. It's been a year, and my mom is cancer-free, full of life and laughter. She visits Support Connection for the weekly support group meetings and speaks with them daily. For all the hope they gave to us, I will never forget them. I'm sure that all the other families they've helped will never forget either. You never know, life might throw you or a loved one a curveball. If it does and you don't know where to turn, or if you feel like a lost soul, I promise you, Support Connection will be there for you.

Sincerely,
Rob DeFrancesco

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Craig and Laura's Story

It is very appropriate that I’m writing this letter so close to Valentine’s Day. My “Valentine” is my wife Laura, who is a breast cancer survivor. Over the years, I have given Laura the usual Valentine’s Day gifts of candy, flowers, etc. This year, my gift to her is to share our story about the enormous help and comfort Support Connection has brought to her and to our family.

When Laura was first diagnosed, we were told she needed surgery within four weeks. We were besieged with doctor appointments, scans, referrals, more appointments. We counted on her doctors to give us the most current, accurate information in a short amount of time so we could make informed decisions. The doctors do their best and we are extremely grateful to our doctor - her knowledge and experience in the field were invaluable, and she provided Laura with the very best medical care and treatment.

What we didn’t realize until later is that there were so many questions we didn’t know to ask. The doctors can tell you the protocol for your diagnosis. They can tell you the tumor needs to be removed and reconstruction will be needed. They can lay out for you the various treatment options. But in most cases, the doctors haven’t gone through the experience first hand or with a close family member, so they can’t fully prepare you for all of the changes you’ll go through, and what your life will be like after treatment.

We only wish we knew about Support Connection from the very first day Laura was told she had breast cancer. Laura learned about Support Connection when she was already halfway through chemotherapy. She was done with her treatment by the time she first attended her support group. I believe if we’d known about Support Connection from the very beginning, we would have been in a better place. We know now that having others with you from the beginning, other people who have been through the process, people who have “been there,” is the best anyone can hope for.

If Laura had known earlier about Support Connection and joined her support group sooner, she would have known other questions to ask. Women in her group share their experiences of feeling fatigued long after treatment ended. They talk about when they got their implants. They share so many bits of information that only someone who’s gone though it could possibly know. Laura has learned a great deal and benefited tremendously from her group. By talking things out with her peers, Laura recently felt comfortable making a decision about an additional procedure. This group of women, who listen to her and talk with her about their experiences, have been invaluable. Although her treatment is finished, Laura still gets so much from Support Connection: the many classes on health, nutrition, relaxation…. keeping up-to-date on current information in the breast cancer field through the open forums with doctors… an invaluable connection with her peers… a wealth of information …. and, the best part: the knowledge that she can also help others. I believe that for her, at this point, being able to share her experiences with others, as others shared with her, is the most rewarding aspect of the entire experience.

What Laura has gained from Support Connection is priceless. The confidence she gets from her support group, along with the love of her family, empowers her to face the rest of her life. She will always be a “survivor,” so she will always need her support group and will continue to benefit from all that Support Connection has to offer.

We attend Support Connection’s fundraisers and we contribute what we can, not because we are of limitless means, but because Support Connection is so valuable to us and to the community at large. It is very important to us to know that help will always be there for those who need it.

Sincerely, Craig Kaplan

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Lisa's Story

Mother’s Day is a special day for me. Not only am I thankful that my own mother is still alive, but I am also thankful that I am still here, to be a mother to my three children, even if they are grown up. It’s been five years since my diagnosis of breast cancer. Going through surgery, chemo, and radiation was without a doubt the most difficult experience of my life, but I like to think it has made me a stronger and better person. When I was first diagnosed, I was in shock. Like many women, I thought it could never happen to me. I was about to turn 40 and celebrate 20 years of marriage. On top of that, my oldest son was about to leave home for his first year of college. I thought: “This can’t be real!” After the initial shock wore off, my next reaction was to look for knowledge and support. I immediately turned to Support Connection for help - I knew about their services from walking in the Support-A-Walk with my daughters’ dance company. With one phone call, I was “connected” to Maria Jennings who gave me great support. I also received literature and other information I very much needed at that time. I am so grateful Support Connection was there for me. Breast cancer truly changed my life, and my family’s life, in many ways. My husband Eugene, and our children Nicholas, Trish and Kristina, each wanted to share their personal reflections on how my illness has changed them, and what Support Connection has meant to them:

Eugene Camia: “It was 1992 when my own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I thought, “No, this can’t happen, she’s too young!” I was wrong. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. In 2000, when my wife Lisa, whom I can’t do without, was also diagnosed with this disease, I was devastated. I didn’t want to turn to my own large family for help because I knew they were busy with their own lives. I knew about Support Connection, but I thought, being a man, I couldn’t talk to them about my feelings. What would they know? What a surprise when I opened up! It was the greatest feeling to get support and comfort from the wonderful ladies at Support Connection. To this day, I am a supporter of this great organization and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.”

Nicholas Camia: “I found out my mom had breast cancer about a month before I started college. Nervous to begin with, I now had something much bigger to worry about. Learning of my mom’s illness cleared out any worries about college and thoughts of missing anyone besides my mom. I knew going to college was what she wanted me to do regardless, so as hard as it was to go away, I managed to pull through by talking to her everyday and coming home whenever I could. One weekend I always made sure to come home for was the Support-A-Walk. I did this for two reasons: to let my mom know how much I was thinking about her during these times, and to thank Support Connection for supporting my mom when I couldn’t be there for her, when I wanted to the most.”

Trish Camia: “As an adolescent, one might think I’d feel uncomfortable with the idea of my mother having an illness due to a lump in her breast. But no, not me – I felt empowered. As I watched my mom fight with all of her might, I was eager to learn more. I sat by her side listening to her thoughts and fears. I helped around the house so she wouldn’t worry or blame herself for being sick. I wanted to do whatever I could to help my mom fight, and to educate myself about this cancer that affected our family. I learned how prevalent this disease is, and through my experience with the Support-A-Walk and interning at Support Connection, I became an advocate for fighting breast cancer. I believe we should all help each other feel empowered through this journey of hope. When I complete my Master’s degree in social work, I hope to help families affected by cancer. I want to be there for others like Support Connection is there for so many in our community.”

Kristina Camia: “Whenever I see a pink ribbon on a car, it reminds me of the very special, unusual anniversary my family celebrated last summer - it was five years since my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes, my very own mother, who gave birth to me, raised me, and seemed the absolute symbol of perfection in a woman. Today she seems even more perfect, but it was scary to see my mom suffer from cancer. I was in middle school, growing as a person and a woman. I never thought someone I loved so much would go through such a terrible thing, but my mom came out strong and is such an honorable person for having survived. I’m proud to be my dance company’s team leader at the Support-A-Walk. It makes me smile to see so many people walking with Lisa Camia’s name on their backs - that’s my mom! I am so grateful for my mom’s health, and for all Support Connection has done for my family and many others.”

I am proud to be a breast cancer survivor and I take any chance I get to share my survival story with others. As Mother’s Day approaches I can reflect on all I have to be proud of. My family has become stronger and closer. Over the years I have continued to turn to Support Connection for help. They have been a constant source of knowledge and support for me. I am extremely grateful that they have been there for me. Like me, Support Connection has grown over the past few years. They have expanded their services, and responded to nearly 1,000 calls for help last year alone, but these free services can only run on our donations.

Sincerely, Lisa Camia

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Nancy's Story

This is the season to give thanks for all of life’s joys and gifts. Like most people, I have plenty to be thankful for every year. But this year is very special. On November 15, 2005, I celebrated my 20-year anniversary as a survivor of breast cancer. Twenty years cancer free!  I first received my diagnosis in 1985. Like most, I was stunned and afraid when I learned I had cancer. At the time, I was divorced and had three daughters. My little one was only five years old. At that very tender age, she was my major source of strength (my other two daughters were in college.) There were no established support groups around, and I didn’t know anyone else who had been through what I was facing. Relying on your family at a time like this is also hard – you don’t want to feel like you are burdening them. I felt very alone. Today, thankfully, Support Connection exists. There is no other place like it.

When I was diagnosed it took me a long time to find support. When I did, several of us went together on an "Outward Bound" trip, which challenged us physically and mentally. We were told: "…you will return home a little tired and dirty, but having gained the knowledge that you are capable of more than you ever thought possible, an experience you will not soon forget, and a new perspective on life." We were on CBS "60 Minutes" on three different occasions and were trailblazers for many trips to come. These appearances gave encouragement to other women battling cancer at that time. It truly was a life-changing experience and an important part of my journey as a cancer survivor. But, I didn’t know then that my journey was just beginning.

In 1994, Rich Adamski, who lost his wife to breast cancer, organized a group to go to NYC to attend a breast cancer awareness walk. I decided to go with my 13 year old daughter Lindsey. It was an uplifting, exhilarating experience. On the bus back from the city, I commented to Lindsey: "Why don’t we have something in Northern Westchester to raise awareness this way?" Her response to me was: "Mom, why don’t you do it?" I contacted Rich and we began meeting with others who shared our vision. In 1995 we held our first Walk, and it became evident there was more to accomplish in our communities. The next year, we founded Support Connection so women with breast and ovarian cancer would have someplace to turn.

I am truly proud of what Support Connection has become. Women do not have to search like I did to seek support. Survivors can reach out and connect with one another, and they find others who listen, understand and care. Through our programs, survivors - as well as their families and friends - find hope, strength and courage. The number of people reaching out to us keeps growing. Already this year we’ve received more than 700 requests for help. To date, since we opened our doors, we have had more than 5,000 participants in our programs – quite a staggering number!

Even though my Outward Bound trip was years ago, their mission remains strong in my mind: they strive to help people "to achieve more than they ever thought possible, to show compassion for others, and to actively engage in creating a better world." Our work at Support Connection does just that, by reaching out to so many people in need of our support.

Nancy Heller, Co-Founder and President, Support Connection, Inc.

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Virginia's Story

Any woman who has children finds meaning in Mother’s Day, but for me, it’s a day that holds special significance. Five years ago, right around Mother’s Day, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time that I learned I was pregnant. I already had two wonderful sons who I love very much, but I had always wanted a little girl.

What should have been a joyous and exciting time in my life was instead filled with anxiety and uncertainty. Even the doctors didn’t know what to do. They said I should end my pregnancy to save my own life. I was so scared. To make things worse, my own mother had died of cancer only one year earlier. My family was still mourning her death. My siblings were too afraid to be there for me – they couldn’t understand why I wanted to take a chance on this pregnancy. My husband and my godmother stayed by my side, but they didn’t know how to help.

Then I called Support Connection. I was so nervous that I left a message on their toll-free Hotline in the middle of the night. The very next morning, I got a call back from Maria Jennings. Maria was a lifesaver – she called me constantly to check on me. We spoke day and night. She searched the Internet and made countless phone calls to find doctors willing to help me to fight the cancer without giving up my pregnancy, my little girl. All along the way, Maria was there, encouraging me and giving me strength.

I am so thankful that Support Connection makes their support services available to women with breast and ovarian cancer, all free of charge. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them.

From that very first call, everyone at Support Connection became my extended family. Through my pregnancy, my hospitalizations, every frightening part of my illness and recovery, someone from Support Connection was by my side, making sure I had whatever I needed. They drove me to my treatments and appointments….they babysat for my children…they helped out with meals. They held a baby shower for my "miracle girl" Danielle, and later, came to her baptism and her first birthday party.  I also joined one of Support Connection’s free support groups and received even more help and support. It never mattered how busy anyone was with their own lives - I often received 5 phone calls in one day, and had so many visitors in the hospital. The women I met helped me survive my darkest times, and they are now my friends for life. Now, to give back what was given to me, I am glad to volunteer my time to speak with other women who call Support Connection for help.

I feel so blessed to be here today, to tell you what Support Connection means to me. With love, hope and best wishes to you all,

Virginia 

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Maria's Story and Dolly's Story

It can be frightening to be alone. When you first learn you have breast or ovarian cancer, it is common to feel that way. You try to carry on, making your way through the maze of doctor’s appointments, treatments, and medications.

But you really need someone to turn to - someone who understands what you’re going through. Even though our personal stories are different, we both know how important it is not to feel alone – and we’re glad to be part of Support Connection:

"I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1993. Back then, there were no support groups in this area and there was no one nearby for me to talk to. I had my family, but no one who really understood what I was feeling. I felt very alone. When I heard about Support Connection after my treatments ended, I called to volunteer. I wanted to help others so they wouldn’t feel as alone as I did, and I’ve been here ever since.
-Maria Jennings, Peer Counselor, Program & Support Group Director

"My breast cancer diagnosis was in 1997. I heard about Support Connection right after I had my mastectomy. I joined the support group that Maria had just started for newly diagnosed women. The group was so important to me – talking to the other women really made it easier for me to get through my treatments and recovery, and I’m still so close to all of them now. The reason I work for Support Connection is to give back what was given to me."
-Dolly Acocella

Our own experiences are just two of the many stories that make up Support Connection. Each year we serve a growing number of people in all of our programs – ongoing support groups, one-on-one peer counseling, wellness programs, 24 hour toll-free hotline, educational forums, and more. Quality programs cost money to run, but thanks to the generosity of our friends and benefactors, all of these services are provided at no cost to participants.

See what a difference Support Connection has made in the lives of people affected by breast and ovarian cancer:

Maria Jennings Dolly Acocella

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Sharon's Story

Ten years ago, I would not have believed I would ever write this letter. I was 27 years old when I was diagnosed with cancer in 1994, and all my plans for marriage and family had to be put on hold. I had a more pressing focus that required all my strength and attention--I desperately wanted to live!

As I looked for help and support, and for guidance through this maze of survival, I found myself alone. Family members wanted to help, but it would have been so valuable to talk to someone who was actually going through it, who was separate from my family.

In late summer, 1995, I was excited to see a local newspaper ad about the first Walk, which led to the creation of Support connection. It struck me immediately that here, in my own community, was a group where I could go for support. More than that, it was a group where I would volunteer my time. I wanted to be sure that no other woman in our community would have to face her breast or ovarian cancer alone.

From the very beginning of Support Connection, I have had the privilege of serving as a facilitator of support groups. I have been able to be available for other women in need and to serve as a "success story" to help them grasp on to hope. (I am also proud to say that I created Support Connection's heart and hand logo.)

During this time of helping others, I, too, have been supported by a network of loving, caring women who have become my close friends. They encouraged me to hold on to my dreams and were there, cheering me on, as my husband Sean and I married and then, in October 2003, adopted Matthew, a beautiful little boy.

I am blessed to have those in Support Connection surround me, sharing my times of concern and good news and celebrating with me as I reach various milestones. And I know that we'll be here for each other, providing hope into the future.

Sharon

P.S. Please open your heart and send your generous gift so that Support Connection can continue to provide hope and enhance its support services for women at this critical time in their lives.

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